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Is Grindr bad for your mental health?

Writer's picture: Elise BraunschweigerElise Braunschweiger

Reflections from an LGBTQIA+ Matchmaker and Date Coach


Dr. Jack Turban, a gay psychologist whose work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, The Los Angeles Times, Scientific American, and Vox, once put out a piece titled, We need to talk about how Grindr is affecting gay



Dr. Turban asked users on the app questions ranging from “why are you on Grindr so often?” to “how does Grindr affect your mental health? 


Here's some of what he learned.


It can be addictive. 

  • Dr. Turban says that Grindr “leverages a psychological concept called variable ratio reinforcement, in which rewards for clicking come at unpredictable intervals. You may find a hookup immediately, or you may be on your phone for hours before you find one. Variable ratio reinforcement is one of the most effective ways to reinforce behavior, and it makes stopping that behavior extremely difficult.” 

  • All dating apps leverage this mechanism in the brain to keep users coming back for more, but paired with the sexually-charged matches you’ll often come across on Grindr, this can be particularly intoxicating.

  • “Imagine a slot machine that rewards you with an orgasm at unpredictable intervals,” says Dr. Turban



Gay men’s mental health is suffering, and Grindr might not be helping.

  • A staggering number of gay men struggle with anxiety and depression according to our recent estimates, which suggest it could be as high as 50% of the population. Since 2007, more gay men have died from suicide than HIV. It’s time for us to start paying attention. 

  • Dating app users of all orientations report that the apps often have a negative impact on their mental health. But Grindr seems to be particularly impactful - a survey of 200,000 iPhone users by Time Well Spent, a nonprofit focused on the digital attention crisis, suggested that 77% of Grindr users felt regret after using the app. This was a higher percentage than any other app on the market.



Grindr might actually keep men from developing deeper romantic relationships, according to Dr. Turban.

  • One user said, “My framework now is sex first. I don’t know how to date people in person.” He went on to say, “My self-esteem now is all about my sexual ability,” and “I don’t feel confident about myself as a partner in any other way.”

  • The accessibility of casual sex that Grindr provides might create an environment where sex becomes a “quick fix” for connection, instead of encouraging users to build long-lasting intimacy. 



Our Thoughts?

There is a much bigger conversation to be had around Grindr, as it’s a massive resource to queer people all around the world to connect with each other. The sample size taken above is also small (something to consider if the above doesn’t resonate with your experiences). But it does echo many of the sentiments we’re finding in the latest research on dating applications in general.


Now with Grindr’s sharing of private medical information (they are currently in a lawsuit for sharing users’ HIV status with third parties without consent), I think we need to hold them to a higher standard while understanding that not everyone can (or wants to) boycott the platform.


If you’re feeling like you’re stuck in the Grindr cycle and are seeking something more meaningful, contact our team today to learn more about our LGBTQIA+ matchmaking and date coaching services.

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