In today’s blog, we’d like you to get to know our Founder and CEO, Elise Braunschweiger. With an extensive background in matchmaking and date coaching, including working as Head of Matchmaking for a world-renowned, psychology-led, award-winning agency managing their US team of matchmakers, Elise says she saw a huge gap in the market and a desperate need for resources for people like herself. Elise answers some of her most asked questions below.
what made you want to open Queer Conscious Connections?
I saw firsthand as a lesbian myself the dire lack of services and resources made by queer women and for queer women. I could also say the same about GNC folks or trans folks - the services available are almost exclusively created for straight, cis people. We could look at dating apps as examples, with not only more options available to straight and cis folks, but also the quality and funding behind them. Companies like Match Group or Bumble have tremendous valuations whereas a company like HER has significantly fewer resources.
But I also saw it in the matchmaking industry. I was shocked to see how few agencies were open to accepting lesbian clients in any regard. When I say out of hundreds of matchmakers across the US, there were a handful who took on queer women, I mean that literally! My own agency did not accept lesbian clients (although they did accept gay men).
Beyond that, the matchmakers who were straight and taking on LGBTQIA+ clients in an effort to be more inclusive often did not take the time to educate themselves on queer dating culture. They were not equipped to represent their clients because they were not equipped with the appropriate language to describe them. They couldn’t relate to their experiences. One matchmaker couldn’t tell me if her gay male client was a top or a bottom, and nearly fainted when I asked. Another put out a video on her Instagram saying that masculine lesbians were often misogynistic.
In the cheesiest way, I decided to be the representation I wanted to see in the world. Since opening my doors, I’ve found there are so many queer people like myself who could use a service catered towards their unique needs and which is administered by someone who’s walked their path.
What kind of people do you often work with?
I describe my agency as highly inclusive. At any given time, I could be working with people of every sexual and gender orientation you can think of! But I focus on LGBTQIA+ matchmaking and date coaching with a special interest in servicing lesbians, sapphics, and queer women (because so few services focus on their unique needs). I do work with plenty of gay men and nonbinary folks though, and even the occasional straight person! Overall, my network of singles mostly consists of accomplished queer people across the US. I’m also one of the few agencies who is polyam/ENM inclusive. But it’s hard to categorize my network in totality because of their incredible diversity.
What unique challenges do lesbians and queer women face?
Queer women don’t often have the luxury of meeting people organically out in public, unless at a sapphic event or through their social networks. I have one client in Philadelphia who is femme for femme, and she joked that her physical type is basically the girls you’d bet were straight. She can’t easily approach someone at a coffee shop and ask for her number because most of the time, given who she’s attracted to, they’re not gay. I can understand why she's demotivated to keep trying!
Another thing I’ve noticed - because women of all orientations often have emotionally intimate relationships with their friends, queer women sometimes struggle with identifying where a certain relationship falls on the spectrum from “platonic” to “romantic.” They might feel a connection, but are unsure what meaning to make of that connection or how to categorize it.
What type of person is right for matchmaking with you?
This is such a good question! Because matchmaking is not for everybody.
The right person for matchmaking is often someone who:
Wants to outsource the ‘work’ of dating, including finding matches, screening them for important criteria, and scheduling the introduction (either because they don’t have the time or don’t find it enjoyable)
Is seeking the guidance of a knowledgeable dating and relationship expert to identify and address any blindspots or hurdles getting in their way (because what they’re doing isn’t working)
Might benefit from receiving feedback from the people their meeting (maybe they don’t know why they’re getting stuck and not progressing forwards into a relationship)
I also want to mention that the clients who are most successful when hiring a matchmaker are the clients who are genuinely interested in doing the internal work. I think this is true for anyone who is dating though! It’s important that we maintain a healthy dose of self awareness around anything we can do differently to get closer to our goals.
Is there anything else you’d like to say to our audience?
Big picture, at Queer Conscious Connections, we understand that queer matchmaking requires an approach as diverse and unique as the clients we serve. Unlike generic matchmaking services, our focus is entirely on the LGBTQIA+ community, ensuring that each client receives personalized attention from a team that truly “gets” the complexities of queer relationships. Our goal is to help you navigate the dating world with confidence and clarity, ultimately leading to a meaningful connection that fits your unique identity and lifestyle. We don’t take the responsibility lightly whenever someone entrusts us to help them on their dating journey, and so I also want to say thank you to those who took a leap of faith with us. We’re grateful you’re here.
If you’d like to inquire into hiring Elise as your personal matchmaker, please don’t hesitate to reach out to our team for a complimentary consultation to determine if our process is right for you.
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