A few months ago, the BBC’s “I Kissed A Girl” featured a scene on the show where the contestants discussed their feelings about the word “lesbian,” with some confiding that they felt some shame referring to themselves this way. Around the same time, Renee Rapp did an interview with Them magazine in which she discussed similar feelings around calling herself a “lesbian,” explaining how even those close to her made comments that hurt her feelings when she was early in examining which label fit best for her. Shannon Beveridge also released a podcast episode titled “lesbian isn’t a bad word,” in which she addressed the topic.
So why is it that so many sapphic people feel uncomfortable referring to themselves using the term “lesbian?”
The consensus seems to be that “lesbian” was something many queer people heard for the first time as a derogatory term, and sometimes, as shared by Georgia in “I Kissed A Girl,” was the consequence to rejecting men’s advances, receiving in response a sneering, questioning, “what are you, a lesbian?”
“‘Lesbian’ was not a good word for me to hear as a kid, and now it’s something that I have such a close emotional connection to.” - Renee Rapp
Instead, some sapphic and WLW folks have taken to identifying under various other labels, like queer or gay. I’m extremely supportive of people using whatever term fits them best, so I think that’s great! But it breaks my heart to think about people refraining from using the term “lesbian” because they’re ashamed to be one.
When discussing this topic in “I Kissed A Girl,” the contestants referred to the popular urban legend amongst the LGBTQIA+ community that the “L” in the acronym comes first as a means of honoring the lesbians who stepped up to help during the AIDs crisis when no one else would. They ended the conversation with the sentiment that it’s a genuine honor to be able to call oneself a lesbian and to be a part of the lineage of bad ass queer women who fought so we could enjoy the level of acceptance and privilege we have today.
We hope to be a part of the ongoing movement which normalizes and celebrates queerness in all its forms. If you’re struggling to identify the language which best suits you and your identity, we’re here to help you better understand yourself. Contact our team today.
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